Hi there loves,
Today I want to talk a little bit about what it is like to be a High Sensitive Person (HSP). For months I was in doubt wether I should blog about this or not… At some point high sensitivity seemed to be a hype and it felt wrong to jump onto the so called hype train. I did not really seem genuine to me. I saw multiple blogposts where people where talking about being a high sensitive person and I will not second guess if they are – as I think it’s not a psychological disorder or anything, it’s more a personality type – but it felt wrong to share my blog at the same time.
But now that I feel the ‘hype’ is a little bit over, and I am feeling more comfortable in my own skin, I feel like I can finally write about this and tell you a little bit about my experience.
Let me tell you this before reading on; for me it’s both a blessing and a curse to be a high sensitive person…
I have known for a couple of years now, that I’m most likely a high sensitive person. When I was studying Applied Psychology, about 5 years ago, I was learning all about disorders, psychological theories, personality, development and more. I was so happy with my education and I feel like I learned a lot during these 4 years. Not only about psychology, but also a lot about myself.
I was always worrying about everything…
I remember someday, I hope I recall this correctly. But my dad told me I had to read a certain book – the power of now by Eckhart Tolle – basically because I was always worrying about everything… Than I remember another moment, where I am getting interested in high sensitivity and HSP, my mom tells me about this book from Elaine Aron about HSP, and I get to borrow it from someone – I think one of my moms colleagues.
The book was an eyeopener and so was the test she has on the website hsperson.com. I felt like I learned something about myself, I was most likely a HSP. But now what? It wasn’t a psychological disorder I just diagnosed myself with, there was not even an option to get a true 100% diagnoses. So I just went on living my life, knowing my hypersensitivity was not just something random.
How I know I am a high sensitive person?
There are a couple ‘symptoms’ that really tell me, personally, that I am a bit different than non-HSP’s. I think however that this is different for every HSP, so this is very personal.
One of the things I have always noticed is that I really feel it in my gut when people don’t genuinely like me. I always try to ignore this feeling and I will always be kind, but over the years I figured out that unconsciously, I did not ignore it at all and that it actually made me act sort-of different to be liked…
Another thing, sort of related to the gut feeling I am writing above, is that I can always feel it when somebody is sad, anxious, happy, confused, I feel tensions between people, and this can have a HUGE effect on my personal mood. For example: When I come into a room where the people I am meeting just had an argument, it can make me feel very uncomfortable, anxious and I can even get stomach aches from it.
Finally, there is one thing that is super annoying to me, is that I just can’t seem to filter. Whenever I am in a busy train and everyone is talking, I can’t focus on whatever I am doing and I tend to follow every freaking conversation in the space. This always makes me very tired.
On a more positive note…
Luckily there are a lot of benefits to being a high sensitive person as well. At least in my eyes!
The first two things I am describing above can actually help me as well, if I cope with it well. It saves me time – from not spending time with people that don’t really like me. Also, the relationships I do have bring me a lot and only give me a lot of energy instead of draining me from it! And it gives me information on how to comfort / help / talk to the ones I love whenever they are struggling with something.
Besides this I am hugely empathic and very compassionate. I can feel very deeply about personas within my favorite series.
Also I have this HUGE imagination which helps me with everything creative I do.
High sensitive and high sensation
There are basically two types of high sensitive persons; calm and introvert HSP’s and high sensation seekers. The second group is high sensitive but this group is more extravert and outgoing.
I sort of fit into this second category of HSP & HSS. Basically this means that while I am high sensitive and get overstimulated very quickly, I also tend to get bored very quickly and I am always looking for a new challenge.
Imagine someone trying to hit the gas and the brakes at the same time; yep that is me 😉
All in all I feel like for me, being a high sensitive person can be a curse sometimes, but also a blessing. It’s not always easy to cope with overstimulation and negative vibes, but the positive things I experience due to being high sensitive will most of the time outweigh the negative!